Doggie Dog training

By
Zoe & Niki
as overheard by
Susie Schwarz

Zoe: Kid, I'm not sure how I feel about this new puppy thing but I guess I’ll show you around. Okay first of all, you gotta remember, I am the Queen. And I am older.

Niki: ‘kay

Zoe: About Bathroom stuff. You gotta go outside. Stand by the door and they will understand what you have to do and they'll open the door. If you need my help, just ask. And you bark yet?

Niki: I don't know.

Zoe: I'll bark for you, just call me okay?

Niki: ‘kay

Zoe: Okay this stuff here is plastic. Mom put it down when my brother was sick, for his accidents you know. Now it is much better if you pee and poop outside but if you have to go inside she won't get as mad if you go on this plastic instead of the carpet!

Niki: Gottcha!

Zoe: Over here, this is the toy basket. I get first choice. Oh, and don't let mom see you chewing the stuffing out of the toys, she gets upset. I think she just wants to protect us, but just don't do it kid, no matter how much you want the squeaky thing inside. You're safe with the Nylabones.

Niki: Nylabones?

Zoe: Now, this is your crate. This is where you stay when mom and dad go away from the house. I of course have the run of the house, but I am the Queen, and I'll come visit ya once in a while.

Niki: I don't like this crate thing. I'm getting out.

Zoe: I don't think so! Go ahead and rock it to the middle of the room, I don't care, but trust me, you are not getting out.

Niki: hmmmm. We'll see.

Zoe: Now see those things over there?

Niki: ya !

Zoe: Those are cats. Personally I don't like 'em and mom gets upset if we chase them, but if you wanted to kinda go after them a little when she is not lookin' I can help. I'll just pretend that I'm keeping you away from them and I'll head them off at the pass.

Niki: OKAY! Chasing them is so much fun when they run. Uh oh! Here she comes with a spray bottle, what's that for?

Zoe: You'll see.....… The cats are like chasing the squirrels. Hey look over here, this is where we look for the squirrels. When we see them we kinda whine and move around and then mom lets us out. Hey kid............over here kid, stop itching and look over here!

Niki: What happens when we catch one?

Zoe: Oh kid, you probably will never catch one and if you do, just scare them to death don't like eat them or anything, they have germs they can make you sick. Now I caught a big one one day and trapped him against the screen door, you should have seen him squirm. Mom made me let him go though. You know the germs and everything.

Niki: oh.

Zoe: Here comes Mom with the leash. Time for a bath!

Niki: What's a Bath?

Zoe: Just come on kid you're going to love it! They rub you and scratch you and it feels so good.

Later in the day

Zoe: So kid, now that we are home, how did you like the bath?

Niki: I loved it! I loved it so much I am going in again here in the little stream.

Zoe: Noooooo! Niki.............you’ve just had a baaa...........Uh oh! Here comes mom with the towels, you are in big trouble now.

Niki: Hey Zoe, this is fun, mom is rubbing me and drying me off, it feels sooooo good! I think I'll do this everyday!

Zoe: Harummmmph!

Later the Same Day

Zoe: Okay this is mom and dad's room. When you get bigger you can sleep here like me.

Niki: I don't have to wait until I'm bigger, watch and see. I'll be in here in three days and I'll show you. I'm gonna sleep through the night and no pee and no poop. I'll be a good boy.

Zoe: Yeah kid. Okay whatever. No no Niki don't go into the bathroom with mommie.

Niki: I'm going, I miss her.

Zoe: Niki no don't take the roll of toilet paper! Mommie needs that! No! No! Niki don't run with it ……. Niki come back!

Mommie: Niki get back here with that now! Niki? Niki come!

Zoe: Here comes mommie with her pants around her ankles, you better run fast!

Niki: I'm hungry can I snuggle up to you and get a drink?

Zoe: Hey kid, no, no, no. You got the wrong girl here. Go get some water from mom.

Niki: what? I don't understand.…

Zoe: Look kid, its too long to explain. But we can play if you want.

Niki: Great! Watch me do this running-flying-jump onto your back.

Zoe: Yeah, kid. I think you're only gonna be flying into the grass. And stop biting my hanging tag and my muzzle kid, it bugs me.

Niki: sorry.

Zoe: Oh, okay kid I guess it's all right. I just don't want to hurt you! So come on, chase me around the yard...........let's go! Kid! Stop! Do not dig in mom's yard, she is gonna be so mad! You're gonna get that red peppery stuff and then you are not going to be a happy camper. Uh! Oh! Here comes, the red bottle. Run, run as fast as you can!

Niki: Ah.....choo!

Zoe: I warned ya! It's much easier if you just do what she wants, trust me. You know I been watchin' ya kid and you been doing a pretty good job of all the rules, so you might just be in the bedroom sooner than I thought! Yawn! Come on lets go take a nap.

Niki: Okay...........can I snuggle up here next to you?

Zoe: Sure kid go ahead, maybe this is going to work out okay after all!

Niki:z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z . . .

Zoe: Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z . . .

The End

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